What lies beneath
by MistyX
Summary: When Max drops by Logan’s apartment, he’s facing some inner demons. It’s up to Max to find out what’s troubling him in order to help him... ML, ofcourse!
1. Chapter One

**Title:** What lies beneath...

**Rating:** PG-13 (Just to be on the safe side. If you think I should change it, lemme know.)

**Genre:** General/Romance/A bit Angst

**Pairing**: M/L To all us ML'ers out there, we gotta keep strong in the struggle! Even though there's a flood of MA turning up on different Dark Angel site's, we all know what really happens. And if any MA'er is in denial, go buy the book " After the Dark", to see who Max really ends up with....

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Max, Logan or the whole concept of Dark Angel. I own the concept of this story however, but will never officionaly own it as it is inspiration; feelings clutched into symbols on a computer.

**Summary: **When Max drops by Logan's apartment, he's facing some inner demons. It's up to Max to find out what's troubling him in order to help him... (am aiming for a feel of Season 1)

**Chapter 1**

Rain. As always, rain. When does this city's water tap ever run out? Max thought to herself as she picked the lock to Logan's apartment. Even though he lived in a fancy apartment with locks to match it, they were no match for Max abilities. She had picked up a few things as a child, for both good and for bad- but she figured that picking locks was actually good.... at least in this situation, she smiled to herself.

Max walked inside the apartment, not bothering to call out his name. At this time of the hour he was most definetly either preparing food or tapping away at his keyboard- she was hoping for the first. As did her stomach, growling its approval.

But she didn't find him in the kitchen nor at his computers, instead she found him standing by his windows, peering out into the black of the wet night. The sun had since long fallen over the horizon, leaving the moon to greet them. And as Logan stood there, the moonlight illuminated his face, making his strong jaw line seem to mark out even more than usual, and Max couldn't help but thinking that he looked so incredibly.... handsome. Yeah, handsome was the word. And sexy.

She berated herself, running the math in her head of when shed last been in heat, but knew that it wasn't time for that hell to come on for another few weeks. But what was this... feeling inside of her, this rumble in her stomach? It wasn't just hunger, she knew it. At least not hunger for food....

" Hey. Whatcha doing?" She greeted him, sitting down in his sofa, watching him. He slowly turned his face towards her and she was surprised to see that it seemed like he was, or had been...crying? But no, Logan never cried. He was the self-coroned king of bottling up, never failing, even when he actually needed to. What was this?

" Nothing. Just thinking... There's some food in the fridge if ya want." Logan said, turning back to look outside of the window. Ok, Max thought to herself. Something's wrong. No_ hello, no how are you today?_ No _Want me to whip up a fresh culinary miracle for you_, no _Want me to kiss you for a long time and then make love to you_, no....

Max stopped herself again, turning back to the reality of the situation. She dismissed his invitation for her to rummage his fridge, and instead stepped up from the sofa, observing him for a few moments. She decided to cut the crap, he at least deserved honesty.

" Logan, what's wrong?" Logan looked at her sharply, trying to hide the surprise from his gaze. How could she know him so well, just sense that something was wrong? But he wasn't sure if he wanted to tell her, she shouldn't have to worry about his own family problems, she had enough of her own.

" Nothing, Max. I'm just tired." Max didn't believe a word of what he'd just said, still remaining at her spot. Usually she didn't like to push things with people, as she couldn't quite handle it herself, but this was Logan. She _knew _Logan.

" You and me both know that's not true... Tell me, what's the matter?" Logan just shook his head and shrugged, heading from the window down to the kitchen, grabbing some things from it. He didn't want to talk about this with her, perhaps making dinner would bring her on other thoughts...

" Nothing, just let it go." It came out sharper than he'd meant to, but Max didn't care for once. She knew something was terribly wrong to get Logan this upset, although he tried everything at his best to hide it from her. But she picked up the vibes from him, the vibes that told him that he was getting irritated. The realization of that perhaps she'd done something wrong hit her, she hadn't exactly been in her best mood the last days. She'd felt really punked, actually, like she was coming down with something. That wasn't likely though, she was revved up.

" Logan, have I done something wrong?" The question came out more intimate than she'd meant to, and it made her feel uneasy. She looked up at him as he raised his head and the vibes was now telling her that he wasn't happy at all.

" Damn it, Max, everything doesn't always have to be about you!" He practically screamed the combined statement and answer out, leaving Max standing there, chocked. _Fine_, she thought,_ if he wants to have it that way, so be it._

" Fine, have it your way." Max spat out to him, as she turned on her heel and left the kitchen, walking out of the apartment. She wasn't gonna take Logan talking to her like that, when she only wanted to help. Hell, she had even felt like she'd opened up, trying to get close to him... And he just threw her back, away from him!

Logan stood by the desk, vegetables laying in front of him. He looked at his hand, shocked at what he'd just said and done. He hadn't meant it, not at all, but he just couldn't take it anymore. The pain came back to him, flaming up from the inside as he took one of the vegetables and threw it onto on of his room divider, squashing it. He then kicked the desk with his feet, laying his arms down on it. The pain was too much for him to take, and Bling's statement " _You gotta scream a little, or else your heads gonna explode_" rang in his ears. 

He laid his head down on his arms, and cried. He cried out his pain, what he was unable to say in words. He cried out pain that had been buried in him for years, but at one specific time of the year always came back... 

Max, who had stopped before leaving the apartment hearing something hit on of the room dividers, saw the whole scene from where she hid behind one of the room dividers. Something was definitely mostly wrong with Logan, something terrible. 

But she couldn't comfort him now, she wouldn't know what to say or do. So she just left him there, crying out his pain into the world as she disappeared into the night, on her way to find Bling...

**Author's Note**: Next chapter, Max runs into Bling that knows the reason for Logans despair...

Review, please, it helps more chapters get uploaded faster and it's always nice to know what you thought about the story.


	2. Chapter Two

**Disclaimer:** For all info, dis-the-claimer and likewise, she chapter uno.

**_Thanks for all the awesome reviews, guys!_**

_(for more personal answers, look at the bottom o'the page)_

**Chapter 2**

She hadn't told Cindy anything about the incident last night. Some things were to be kept private, and Logan was a subject Max preferred to keep as tight to herself as possible- he wasn't to get shared with other people. Besides, when she had walked inside the apartment last night, Cindy hadn't even been awake, but soundly sleeping in her bed, seemingly happy unaware of the crisis of the world.

It was a lousy day that followed, it was like the rain could never stop washing down upon this city, and that sometimes made Max wonder why she ever came her. Why couldn't she have resided somewhere dry and warm?

As she entered Jam Pony that afternoon, she looked at her wrist watch. It was five to six, so she figured that if she hid around the lockers for a good ten minutes Normal couldn't force her on a last, late and hot run. She wasn't in the mood for being any more bossed around today, the situation with Logan kept her wondering.

He hadn't called her today, either. Not bothering to contact her for lunch like he always did, no nothing. It vexed her, but the thing what irritated her most was this uncertainty; she didn't know what to do. She couldn't walk over to his place and confront him of his sudden outburst and crying; she would just screw it up like she always did.

" Hey, Boo! Whass down? You looking like y'got the whole world against ya." Original Cindy's attempts at making her smile made her happy; at least there was someone who didn't gave sudden, un- explainable outbursts of despair, making her wonder about if for the rest of the day.

" Nah, just got a lot on my mind, " Max answered and after Cindy had looked her up and down, she seem to think that Max was actually telling the truth. She nudged Max's shoulder, crossing her arms. " Ya hot boy giving ya a hard time?" Max looked up at her and punched back, smiling, thinking that her friend would never give up on that one. And sometimes, Max just didn't feel like arguing back, like one day she would actually want for it to become true.... but it probably wouldn't.

" He's not _my _hot boy, " Max laughed and Original Cindy smiled right back at her, showing her white teeth to the world. " Ah, but see, you just agreed to that he was a _hot boy_. Got ya..." She teased, receiving another nudge from Max, who laughed with her. And it felt good to be laughing, her first happy action of today.

" Wanna swing by Crash tonight, Boo? Y'know, show the place who has the moves alongside Original Cindy?" Max shook her head, stuffing some clothes into her locker, pulling out her regular ones. " Sure, just gotta take care of a thing first..." Cindy smiled her approval and patted her shoulder as Max walked away, grabbing her bike in the process.

" Hey there missy! Today's last hot run, 45 Running Street!" She just turned to Normal and indicated her watch, pointing at the pens of the watch. " Nuh-uh, Normal. My clock reads 4 minutes past 6, which means I've got the right to go home..." Normal glared at her after checking his own watch, seeing she was right. " One day, missy, you're gonna walk home because you ain't got a job no more! Now, get lost out of my sight... "

Max was just gonna reply something back to him when she in the corner of her eye caught someone walk inside Jam Pony. He was tall, really muscular built and a man she knew by name and through another friend; the man was Bling. _What's he doing here?_ She thought, as she saw him walk up right to her.

" Hey, Max!" Max smiled back, she found approval of Bling. He was honest, had ideals, was a good friend of Logan's and stuck up for himself. She doubted she would ever know him if they hadn't met for Logan, but she always figured it was useful having friendly, male acquaintances. 

" Hey Bling. Whatcha doing here?" 

Max asked, watching as Bling brought forward a package and showed it to her. " Believe it or not, normal people needs packages being sent, as well." Max smiled at him, nodding. " You better hurry up. Normal's closing up the place soon.... See ya, Bling!"

He said goodbye to her and then walked over to the reception where Normal took the package, spluttering some stuff over it, placing a new tag on it. Max observed, then began to walk away, lost in thought. _Nice to know that not everyone around Logan gets too involved in his life, being unable to build one for themselves_...

She then thought of a thing- perhaps Bling would know the reason of Logan's sudden outburst! He was probably the person next to herself that knew Logan the best, and the closest. He had trained him for a long time now, and even though Bling's visits didn't occur as often as they had before, Max knew the two talked on a regularly basis. Perhaps he knew something...

Just as Bling was about to leave the place, Max stood outside of her working place, waiting for him.  He smiled again at seeing her, and instead of letting him stop, she walked by his side, greeting him again. She explained to him about what had happened last night, in detail. During Max whole story he remained silent, a serious look on his face. 

After walking another good distance, he finally stopped. Max stopped her bike as well, looking up at Bling whose former happy features had now turned into a dead, serious look. She wondered what was wrong, this seemed serious. It didn't look like this was something unexpected as well, but Max figured that this wasn't just Bling expecting Logan to pop- this was something he'd been through before.

 " Max, how much has Logan told you about his parents, and family's death?"

**Author's Note**: Next chapter, Bling tells Max the story about his parents death...

Agmgdafan - You don't have to thank me for posting, it's my pleasure =) I agree, we really do need more M/L up'ere!

All Grown Up -  I know what you're saying, girl. I'm all for treats, that's one of the reason I decided to write some myself. I'm just contributing to M/L Shippy heaven, where I've always spent most time reading other people's stories!

MaxCale - Thanks, Boo!

Bella Luna 1213 - Thanks, good you're onboard =)

Roxy21 – I totally know what you're saying, my sistah. In "Gill Girl" we got to see Max sitting in Alec's lap, however it was the most non-sexual scene between two characters in DA; it was just pure fun!

Firmament – Yeah, I know it's pretty special. When I last visited my cousin in Sweden, they had a night that was rainy, with the moon shining in the sky. (no really heavy clouds) So I figured, if they can, hell then Seattle can to! =)

Kyre – You'll have to wait just a little more to see if you're right... ;) I havn't set the Timespan, actually since I like to think that people can set it to whenever they want to, but after this chapter I'm guessing it feels more like Season 1. Glad you tune in =)

Dag – You don't know how right you are! They **are **in denial! Didn't know that it was the show creators drawn line for Season 3, just figured that it was something M.A Collins conjured up with them in a meeting or something like that.... Thanks for the info!

Angie731 – Thanks :) You'll find out soon, but you got a tease in this chappie...

**Review, please, it helps more chapters get uploaded faster and it's always nice to know what you thought about the story.**


	3. Chapter Three

**Disclaimer:** For all info, dis-the-claimer and likewise, she chapter uno.

**_Thanks for all the awesome reviews, guys!_**

_(for more personal answers, look at the bottom o'the page)_

**Chapter 3**

Logan stood out looking the city, as usual, holding a cup of coffee, since long cooled down in his hands. He sighed, looking over at his computers, as a sting of guilt washed over him. Who was he to turn away from the informant net, when he was facing some personal problems? People could die because of his- or rather Eyes Only's- absence... but right now he just didn't give a damn.

Even though much of his life revolved around Eyes Only and the world around it, he needed to be able to get away from it, at least for a few days. Right now he couldn't handle everything, the memories flooding over him like the Niagara falls switched up.

As he observed the always turned of computers, he inwardly sighed, forgetting about his memories for a while as he thought about Max. He had been awfully rude to her last night, shouting at her, blaming her for something she didn't deserve. All she wanted was to know what was the matter of him- which stuck him as a bit out of the ordinary as she usually gave it a rest when he said it was nothing- and he had practically thrown her out of his apartment.

He was ashamed over his actions, but couldn't take them back. And he wasn't even sure that a nice, candle- lit dinner for two when he had gotten his head cleared out, would fix it. He blamed himself for it, for pushing her further away from him, that wasn't what he wanted, not at all, not close.

If he could decide, Max would be his. That he wouldn't have to share her with the world, that he could just keep her close to him, close and hug her, kiss her, just love her. But as he knew Max and her free spirit and need for privacy, he wasn't sure that was ever gonna happen. 

At least not if everything kept on this way.

He pushed those thoughts aside for the moment, walking into his bedroom. He pulled out the top drawer, where he kept small things- all from pens, note pads, deodorants, whatever- and photographs.

He picked one in particular up, the wooden frame still around it. God, when had he last had this one out? Perhaps not since last year, perhaps before that. It was a good picture. He stood there in the middle, in between his father and mother, grinning like an idiot. He hadn't worn glasses then, either.

It was hard for him to remember the pre- pulse time, as it always brought back memories of his family, or old friends and flings, that he now didn't keep the contact with. He wasn't sure if he was supposed to feel failure about that, it was he who had chosen solitude after Valerie had left him, he who had chosen to move to the pent house and later on adapt his two-faced personality; becoming the world's most pissed off reporter, as someone he knew well had put it.

He smiled at the memory, walking out of his bedroom. He brought the framed photography with him, placing it beside his computers. He turned and observed it again, then went to the kitchen to put it away...

Perhaps he was as pathetic as Valerie had called him. But now, more than ever, he felt lonely. Perhaps he needed comforting, something he wouldn't let people give him. A part of him would like to cry on another persons shoulders, a very specified person, but at the same time didn't want to show that kind of weakness.

God, he had to get through this...

***

" Max, how much has Logan told you about his parents, and family's death?"

Max shrugged, her shoulders going up and down. Logan had never told her much about it, and she had never asked much. She knew they had run aground when their boat's Satellite Navigation System had collapsed, but that was about it. He had never told her more about it, not who had made it through it and who hadn't... But she was beginning to get the picture.

" Not much. He told me that their boat ran aground when the Pulse hit, but that's just about it..." Bling nodded, looking down at his hands. He honestly didn't know where to start, but as Max knew the basics he decided to just tell her the necessary; spare some of the details. But then again, Max knew Logan almost better than himself and cared for him like no one he'd ever seen before, so she deserved the truth, and to know at least as much as he.

" Well, is there somewhere we can go and talk about it?" Max, nodded and motioned for him to begin walking again, as did she. " Crash is usually quiet at this hour."

When they reached Crash about ten minutes later, Max showed him a table in one of the corner's of Crash. She had ordered a Coke for herself, and Bling, being himself, had ordered a mineral water. Harold had brought them in an instant, and Max walked over with the drinks to Bling. She sat down, opening her coke.

" I have to be off soon, so I'll only tell what I know. " Max nodded, continuing to down her coke. Bling tapped his fingers against the glass of the sparkling mineral water, as if he wasn't sure where to begin, but then he did.

" Logan was 21, I think. Just finished studying at Harvard, graduated from there with top records. His parents arranged a boat trip for the three of them- they were only three in his family- to celebrate it, and he accepted. " Max cut in to Bling's surprise; " Logan also mentioned there was a lady friend. True, right?" Bling looked at her, and if the subject had been any lighter, he would have smiled at the jealousy in Max's voice, probably undetected by herself.

" Yeah, he brought along a lady friend as well, " Bling continued. " Anyway, they lended his Uncle's yacht and did this. When the Pulse hit, the Satellite Navigation System on the boat crashed down, making the boat un-controllable. They tried turning off the auto-pilot and everything... but soon they got too close to the rocks, on too shallow water. So the boat ran aground, with the four of them on it. "

Max listened intently, forgetting about the Coke in her hand. She had put it down since long ago, paying all attention to Bling and what he was telling her. " What happened?" She asked.

" I don't know the details there, Max, Logan wasn't big on them. All I know was that Logan and that lady friend of his were the only ones who made it out when the boat ran aground, alive. His parents died; their bodies were found when the police searched the waters. Apparently, they had been thrown overboard or something..."

So, that was why Logan never told her anything about himself; he was afraid of doing so would automatically lead into the topic of his parents and their death. Listening to all this, Max instantly knew that Logan was feeling guilt about this, perhaps that was why he had taken on himself to be Eye's Only; to make sure that those who deserved it would pay. 

" Listen, Max, I don't know any more than that... and the reason that Logan got angry yesterday night was probably that it was exactly on the day from when it happened. He never grieves, but I guess it gets too much to handle for him sometimes; tough, bottled-up ol' Logan. " 

Max nodded, knowing what Bling was saying was right. She wasn't angry at Logan anymore, no how could she? She longed for a family all her life, to desperately know her mother amongst that, and Logan's had been taken away from him. She didn't blame him a bit, know, she actually understood him.

" If I were you, I would go and see him. He's most likely cooled off by now, and I've got the feeling he's feeling very alone at the moment. Go cheer him up!" Max stood from the chair and smiled towards Bling, patting him gently on the shoulder, as to thank him. He returned the smile and nodded to her.

" You know what? That's exactly what I'm gonna do...."

**Author's Note**: Next chapter, Max goes to see Logan about a heart to heart...

MaxCale - Thanks girl!

Original D -  Yeah, in the show we never really got to se him _that _frustrated, and I just thought it would be funny, interesting to imagine him like that, one of the reason I did it. Remember that MA's are the_ real_ fictionous believers, since we all know who Max really ended up with ;) 

Angie 731 – I hope you didn't have to sit on that chair too long ;) Usually, my average update period for a fic like this is about 4 days. It can change, but that's the average! Thanks for the detail remark; I try the best I can!

Idlehands452- And there you got it ;)

M/L Only – You also got more, and more is to come!

**Review, please, it helps more chapters get uploaded faster and it's always nice to know what you thought about the story.**


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